Thursday, May 21, 2009

IPL by Rajnikanth

Rajnikanth is one of my favorite topics for a joke. Others include "sansani"(impersonations), DG jokes and all. And then I always have my repartees with me, especially used on my students. I am putting up a Rajnikanth joke , and may put up more in the time to come:

The scene is the final of IPL series, between the Tamil JumpingJacks and the Mumbai Daredevils. Its the final ball and 24 runs are required. According to eminent and recognized personalities like Albert Einstein, sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Alva Edison , Duckworth, Lewis etc etc, it is impossible. Rajnikanth is on strike. The bowler bowls his stuff, confident of the victory. Rajani hits the ball in his signature style. While the ball is in the air, it splits into four pieces; and all four pieces go for sixes. Its 24 runs!!! The Tamil JumpingJacks win!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Life vs death: The eternal struggle

Life and death can be seen as two entities that are constantly and perennially embroiled in a struggle, a tug of war. At the atomic level, we humans as an organism have to fight for our survival, just like millions of other different species. Even though the modern advancements in medical science have made possible extension of our life span beyond what was earlier thought possible, we live as long as we have a burning will of fire to live. We ensure our safety to live and that's what our efforts are in our fight on the side of life. We well know that for the other species, "survival of the fittest" is manifested on a physical level. For us, it is applicable on a mental and a financial level.

All being said about the fight between life and death, have we ever even thought which one is more important, or which one is more powerful? Given a choice, would you like to eliminate the entity called death altogether? Now, don't jump to conclusions straightaway, first read on...

For starters, if you observe the scene in a jungle, or even in or around the undergrowth in a local park, you can see fresh plants, saplings and leaves and blades sprouting out of just about everywhere. The dead plants and trees are very quickly replaced by the new ones. Does this not suggest that life is more powerful than death and always wins over death? Where there is death, there will be life and vice versa. Only the numbers game shifts depending on the situation, say score 100-10 for death in case of an epidemic or a catastrophe, but whatever the situation , ultimately it is life which regains its hold. Was Europe or India not repopulated after the disastrous plagues of biblical proportions in the midieval and the colonial eras? Do you not get to experience the highs of life after surviving the lows? So, I am definitely tempted to say that life is more powerful than death.

That being said, it is also true that life has no meaning without death. SAY WHAT? do we even need death, anywhere or anyplace? Is death actually welcome? The answer is that death is of course never welcome, but it plays its part in the eventual winning of life. Hard to digest? In a forest, whenever an old and large tree dies, it creates space for the development and flourishing of fresh plants and fresh life. That is the part that death plays. When an old player like Kumble retires, he makes way for the arrival of a new player like Ojha or Mishra. In our household, a member becomes old and passes on the responsibility of the family to us, and later we pass it on to our progeny.

The final point that I want to make is that death makes life an enjoyable and worthwhile. am I wrong in the head or something, is that what you are thinking? Consider this: If there was not any death, then we would live on forever. Then exactly what would we do in that long a lifespan? Because of death, our lives are limited, and that very thing makes our time and our moments precious. The happenings, the moments in life just whiz by , so it is entirely upto us to make our experiences memorable and the moments enjoyable, not only for ourselves but also for the world and our progeny. Time wated is a life wasted. We can only succour those special moments because they are limited. There is no point an infinite life without purpose. We have but one life, so better make it count to something. 

Monday, April 6, 2009

How do you KILL an immortal???

This one is really interesting matter, at least in theory.

I don't know what your reaction on reading this, but I will put him in a particle accelerator. The mass will be converted to energy by the equivalence of E=mc^2, and atom by atom, the matter will be destroyed irrevocably. Since nothing can replace the matter that has been lost forever, the person would eventually be erased from existence. And the energy can light up a city for an YEAR.

Monday, March 23, 2009

An incident of the DG

For the unenlightened, I would tell that DG stands for director general in a certain college. This person is highly infamous for, among other factors, his nasty habit of snatching cellphones from the students whenever he sees a phone in the hand of a student.

As it so happened in September 2008, a first year student was covering his ground in the college while talking on his cellphone.

Hither came DG, the crack, wrinkle faced, sullen eyed, attitude in head, a thug, a liar,a fiend, an authoritarian, with no respect even for the God. Then, this was what transpired:

DG: Do you know who I am?
Student: NO!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Impossible is nothing: RAJNI KANTH style!!

For those not keyed in, I will let you know that Rajni Kanth is a superstar in South Indian cinema. He is well known for his incredulously superhero-like antics. His talent as a superstar can best be compared to that of Longshot of the X-men, whose speciality is blind,wild luck. I  am quoting a story of Rajni Kanth and will follow it up with my comments:

Recently the father of physics(Sir Isaac Newton) made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies  - including his latest release Sivaji -  and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done. In Rajanikanth's movies  Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In one of the movies,  Rajanikanth is confronted with  4 gangsters.Rajani has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at  one  gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills two gangsters. Then the bullet also splits into two and kills the other two gangsters!!

 3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.  Rajani has a revolver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajani opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies.... This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theories of physics. The whole movies goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast. The Climax finally arrives. Rajani gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajani has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax.Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible...........  

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide!!

The story quoted above may be a joke, but through this and various other means as well, I want to accentuate this point again and again: The human body is limited only by the human mind.